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Both people need to be on the same page for it to work."In that case, maybe what stopped Diana and Patrick from getting lucky was what they weren't saying to each other.Maybe Diana should have sent this text to Patrick, instead of me: "He's not someone I want to date seriously, but he's someone I could have a fun fling with." Likewise, Patrick could have told Diana if he just wanted something casual."I have a long list of qualities I need in a boyfriend, but sex buddies just need to have a good body, stamina, and no drama. It's liberating to have a relationship that's about having fun in the moment, rather than fussing with potentially deal-breaking questions like intellectual compatibility."So when two people are attracted to each other and have a common goal of getting laid, then what stops them?I call them Recyclables, so I may not see one for a few months or a year, but they'll always be there if I need them." Another friend, Laura, says her favorite part is the low expectations on both sides. "The problem with the casual sex arrangement is that it's not as black and white as we'd like to think," says Morse."It's hard to have a purely sexual relationship because so much of what drives my physical attraction is personal chemistry.There are rare occasions when I do meet a guy I just want to sleep with, but it's tough to maintain that without one person getting more emotionally invested than the other." Another friend, Jennifer, finds friends-with-benefits situations depressing.

"Someone I'm physically attracted to and whose personality I find tolerable, but not stellar, so I run less risk of falling for him." And regardless of how you meet, all my friends agree that the best physical relationships are open and transparent. "It gets messy when people hide intentions or feelings.When Laura told people about her booty buddy, some said "Get it girl! "Women have had to fight to get to a place where they are encouraged to be sexually liberated, but a slight social stigma still remains because of the widespread trend of slut-shaming," says Morse.And it gets worse as we get older: As friends start settling down and starting families, biological and societal expectations start to weigh in more and more."You're in a gigantic gray area, and so much of the arrangement follows unspoken and unclear guidelines, which can get pretty complicated." As much as we might want sex to be simple, feelings, insecurities, and expectations often get in the way.For my friend Tess, sex always goes hand in hand with emotions.

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"Men have been conditioned to believe that their gender has perfected the art of keeping it casual, while women are weighed down by emotions," says sex and relationship expert Emily Morse, author of .