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Part 2 Second, a cow is an indifferent piece, somewhat like thigh fucking a flabby, lard-loaded, ass-drooping fat woman; that is, hopelessly loose, ill-defined, and unresponsive, like screwing a plastic bag of warm Jello.
Sheep, though, are one of the choice pieces among quadrupeds, a fact long known (and kept suppressed) by shepherds.
Hasty fuckers will prefer goats, the most convenient of all animals to screw.
An adult nanny stands just high enough for a bent-kneed fuck and the tail flips up as soon as the goat feels something poking at its snatch. A goat can take on a whole bike club and chew its cud the whole time.
He grasps the tail, catches one hamstring between big toe and the next (like a shower thong), heaves up, catches the other hamstring, and begins to ream properly. The cow waits till the humper starts driving in to finish, then lets out about a gallon of slurpy, green cowshit.
The poor, fucking bastard will splash it all up his shirt and get his pants full, and be grateful that he took his boots off.
This latter method lacks the passionate violence of the former, but suggests the method for the itinerant biker who must make do without the niceties of dairy barns.